#Fabian being like IS GOD REAL

[maxdurden]

the raw power of gorgug and kristen synchronized second hand embarrassment is unspeakable

[sapphicmuppet]

okay I am eating up all of the buddy dawn/kristen freshmen year parallels but truly that bitch WISHES he could be half the icon Kristen was freshmen year. Dying from corn on the first day, stealing a car and killing a fleet of tiefling greasers with your friends in what the first week, successfully showing all of her friends the light of Helio in the first battle they were in and then actually being like. No somethings wrong here and having the guts to question the institution she was raised and born into. Buddy could NEVER

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Look, I know we're supposed to hate the Rat Grinders for not going on dangerous adventures and for being (possibly unwittingly) involved in a bunch of chaos and murder and summoning and ancient rage god, but let's be real. If I went to school with the Bad Kids I would fucking hate them also. I'm sure being their close friend is great but being a vague acquaintance in their school would be the fucking worst. If you tell me you'd actually like your classmate Fabian Seacaster, Privileged Millionaire Jock Brat With Gold Neck Tattoo who (from an outside perspective) leads a charmed life and buys popularity by throwing ragers at his dead rich daddy's fancy mansion, you're lying.

[saphic-with-t]

For senior year I think the bad kids would be insanely over powered (high level dnd is nutty) so here are some fun ideas to spice up encounters in a zany sit-com sort of way. This is a long post btw.

1. Physical regression fight

The bad kids are reverted to their freshman bodies and have to fight as their original level one forms.

I’d imagine it as a Last Standard Exam style onslaught. They start as their level one characters and after each semi-quick wave they regrow a little bit, regaining a few levels, until they finally re-reach their present body. Also funny if they have to go through their bodies most awkward puberty stages again.

2. Freaky Friday

The bad kids all swap bodies. All of the players swap character sheets and have to play their character but using the stats/classes entirely of another character. Extra fun if they can’t meta-game by reminding each other of certain abilities or actions they can do irl, as to hammer in how inproficient they are at being one another.

3. Dance Fight

Similar to the Broadway fight from unsleeping city. All the bad kids have to fight in the middle of some major performance/dance act. Maybe it happens during some sort of audition or performance Fabian is doing.

They all have to navigate doing very high level performance and acrobatic checks which means balance actions and recourses have to be spent on both making sure everyone is good at performing and also on fighting well.

4. Doppelgängers

The bad kids fight themselves. Exact same levels, exact same stats.

Extra points if they don’t know which ones are the real ones, so half of the players are fighting with npc versions of the other half and vice versa. This means they have to also figure out which ones are the fakes mid-fight and some of them were actually playing as their own doppelgänger, semi-similar to the Baron fight in junior year. This also means Brennan would be playing as some doppelgängers but also as some of the actual real characters since those players are unknowingly the doppelgängers.

5. Shipping wars

Some ultra-powerful weirdo god-monster is running a spicy dating game and has kidnapped the bad kids. It is super over the top and annoying and is trying to convince/make the bad kids date eachother and fight eachother as couples. The fight is about tricking the freaky god-monster into thinking they actually have fallen for their assigned partner while pretending to fight the other pairs, with the eventual goal of killing it.

Can’t think of any pairing combo that this wouldn’t be funny with. Adaine and Riz would be bad at acting no matter what, Fig and Fabian would be way to convincing, and Gorgug and Kristen would be super awkward with their partner and also not fully know if Fig and Fabian were actually being serious about their respective partner.

6. Babysitter

Fabian has to spend the entire fight protecting/dealing with new baby sibling. Can hand them off to friends if need be. This includes dealing with a child who has 1 hit point in a high level battle, but also doing stuff like making sure they stay asleep (somehow) or changing a dirty diaper.

7. Freaky Friday 2: Parental Controls

All swapped to their parent’s bodies. Adaine becomes Jawbone, Fig becomes Sandra Lynn, Gorgug becomes one of the thistlesprings, Riz becomes Sklonda, Kristen becomes Lydia Barkrock (her secret mother figure), and Fabian becomes Hallaarial (or funnier option, Gilear).

This is funny to me because whatever spell or curse did this considers adoptive/non-genetic parental figures over biological/legal Gaurdians. Also this is extra funny if they have to team up with their parent who has swapped with them. So Adaine has to deal with Jawbone being in her body, Fig with Sandra Lyn being in hers, Gorgug with one of the thistlesprings, etc.

Also funny if other npcs show up (Ayda became Arthur Aguefort, Bucky Applebees as either Mac or Donna, etc).

Would love to see all of these honestly, would love to hear other dumb silly fighting bits y’all would want to see.

[raguonmynieceandnephew]

"It's so unfair to the Rat Grinders that they are killed instantly and the Bad Kids get to roll death saves." SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP

THIS IS LONG, AND HONESTLY FOR MYSELF, SO YEAH READ IF YOU WANT

I swear to god, this discourse is going to fucking be the end of me. Idk what kind of mind boggling spell Brennan Lee Mulligan wove into the fabric of the universe that spread through the data center of Dropout in order to absolutely hijack y'all's brains when it comes to Cocklord Assgape and her ragtag of character foils but whatever it was has made you Rat Grinder stans INSUFFERABLE in this site.

The levels of treating fictional characters as if they were real people have reached a level I honestly have never anticipated, to the point of y'all actually being mad AT THE CAST for "mistreating" them and ACTUALLY QUESTION BRENNAN'S CAPACITY TO DM. Do you not get how fucking insane that is?

We can't make fun of Copperkettle, one of the most pathetic, petty and incompetent villains in D20 history anymore (even though she is masterfully written and developed to generate this reaction from us) anymore because it's bullying apparently. I saw an account flip the fuck out because someone compared her rivalry with Kristen to Drake and Kendrick's beef. KIPPERLILY IS NOT A REAL GIRL. SHE IS A MAKE BELIEVE CHARACTER IN AN IMPROV SHOW SPAWNED FROM THE BRAIN OF A 36 YEAR OLD MAN

And then what truly pissed me off the MOST about this whole hell is the fact that, being chronically online avid consumers of this goddamn show, I would think you would have but a grasp of the main cast of characters' characterization.

Why the uproar about Riz saying they should chop Oisin's head off? The same Riz who tortured that pixie from Freshman year by shooting off their finger one by one? The same Riz who murked a disarmed and unconscious Coach Daybreak without battin an eye? The same Riz who ATE THE CORPSE OF KALVAXUS?

And the whole Fabian vs Ivy debacle MY GOD, THE GIRL WAS RACIST TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AND USED HER LAST BREATH TO CALL MAZEY "OBJECTIVELY UGLY". And the funniest thing is that is not even the most unhinged shit he has ever said.

And finally, Death Save Gate: THE RAT GRINDERS ARE NOT PLAYER CHARACTERS. THEY ARE NPCS! THE RULES FOR EACH WORK DIFFERENTLY, ESPECIALLY THEM BEING BOSS ENCOUNTERS. Imagine having to still hit Ivy or Oisin 2 more times to kill them when there is 14 foot tall Porter throwing legendary actions left and right, with Jace, and other 3 spell casters + Mary Ann and KLCK up and running. It's called balancing the fucking game. Also, game masters are entitled to break, mold and make up any rules they want if they find necessary in order to service themselves and their players. IF YOU PLAY WITH ALL THESE RULES AS THEY COME, GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR TABLE. THIS IS NOT YOUR TABLE.

Not only is Brennan DMing for his CLOSEST FRIENDS EVER, he is also shooting and producing an ENTIRE TV SHOW. So yeah, i think he knows wtf he is doing.

"But the Ratgrinders had no real development": True. But it wasn't for lack of trying from the players. Everytime they tried to know more, the dice didn't let them, so they decided to focus on the mystery. It simply do be like that sometimes.

"But they are just kids!": And so were Penelope, Dayne, Ragh, Zayn, the Bloodrush Players, Aelwyn and Biz. Why wasn't it a problem then? Because most of them were evil to some extent and were about to bring the fucking apocalypse to the world? Yeah, sounds familiar right? And the ones who were manipulated or had any sort of redemption worked their way into earning it, right? Yeah.

In conclusion, I fucking love the Rat Grinders, I truly do, and not unlike 90% of this website, i'm still holding on to hope that they have any sort of development and redemption in the last episode, because I agree, they ARE children and they WERE manipulated by Porter and Jace, but like, can we also agree that they are fucking assholes and had it fucking coming? Also, the BKs are children too y'know. SO STOP BEING FUCKING ANNOYING.

[bloodyshadow1]

So I made a post about Adaine being the principal after killing Arthur Aguefort in a duel. And if that happens I think it would be fun for the bad kids to join her as teachers so here's what I think they teach

Kristen- Cleric teacher obviously. I think she's the most powerful and best cleric in the world, or at the very least Elmville even if she stumbles a lot. I think her background as helioic/solesian, who created her own god and found then revived another gives her a very unique perspective for any young clerics out there. I also think as someone who worships a pantheon it would work like Yolanda giving up her path of following a single god to be more fair to the students she teaches, unlike Bobby Dawn. Kristen has made as many mistakes as you can as a cleric so she would be a very good person to teach kids who might have anxiety about their choices.

Fabian- Bard Teacher, dance and sword. Corsica is a young woman as the fighter teacher so there's no real reason to replace her when the bad kids come of age. Fabian also drifted away from fighter so hard to bard it's clear where his heart is even if he's still an amazing fighter. I think he would be the teacher that brags about being the future and present of dance, along with being the Oracool of Dance to his students. He also has made a lot of steps from his stumbles in his school days and assures his students it's okay to fail, it's okay to wallow but you do have to pick yourself up still. Seacaster manor is still used as a study hall for any students who need it and his is the teacher willing to help any and all students, no matter the class or grade

Gorgug- Barbarian teacher. While I think artificing has his heart more, I could see Gorgug as an amazing Barbarian teacher. His goal is to undo a lot of the toxic aspects of rage and being a barbarian that people like Porter tried to force upon the class and the students taking it. He teaches about the positives of rage, that while it's a strong weapon, it can be an amazing shield to protect people. He is also the main multiclass advisor, he never refuses an MCAT request, he does ask questions but to let students talk about their interests not to make thing think their ideas are stupid or pointless

Riz- Rogue teacher. I think Riz starts to work for the CoC (Council of Chosen) for a bit after graduation, but doesn't like it since it feels more like Narc shit than spy work like his dad did. He's more fair than Yolanda, he is on school grounds more so kids have a chance to find him instead of having to go to a town miles away to find Eugenia. He focuses on the practical application of being a rogue, stressing that it's more than just damage for sneak attack. Being a rogue is about team work to make sneak attack easier, knowing your terrain to making hiding easier and not to jump into lava when you're not fire resistant or immune, investigating things not just focus on killing people

Fig- Sorcery teacher. Obviously she wouldn't be the bard teacher. She didn't go to bard classes as a student, why would she go as a teacher, despite being one of the most famous musicians in Spire. At first it seems like she's just another Jace, you know just hanging with her students instead of really teaching because sorcery is innate. But she's actually very good with them, she actually has experience in knowing what it's like to get powers from your blood instead of hard work. she also encourages her students to try multiclassing since they have time at school, she doesn't want them wasting the time they have when their young. Hackysack is fun, but they should try things when they're young and can get easy A's so try other class.

Adaine- Before she became principal she takes over for Tiberia as the wizarding teacher. she is much kinder and sympathetic than the previous teacher. She also doesn't make her students buy their own spell components and she makes sure that they know that they can explore other disciplines. Everyone thinks she's the sweet gentle wizard teacher until one of her students get bullied and she throws the other kid off them, or a monster attacks the school and she just decks it in the face exploding it's skull from the force of the blow. I also think she recommends that her students get exercise more than any previous wizard teacher. Studying and reading is important, but spells aren't everything, sometimes a healthy lifestyle can save you more than just magic.

[a-cat-in-toffee]

bad kids avatar and victim headcanons lets go 🔥🔥

fig - obvious answer is avatar of the desolation (paladin of ankarna) but i feel like the stranger could also play into her impersonations of people tbh. (she would also make a pretty good slaughter avatar, music flavored obviously.) ON THE INVERSE my girl would absolutely be a stranger victim as well esp because of how afraid she is that everyone likes her for her facade and not how she actually is. I could totally see her being a victim turned avatar

gorgug - i think my first instinct would be either hunt/slaughter because barbarian. rage. duh. but i think hes got real buried vibes HEAR ME OUT it is CONSTANTLY talked about how gorgug is too large for places + he had to crawl through a small and enclosed space in the forest of the nightmare king

adaine - you would THINKK she would be the eye because she's an oracle but you'd be WRONGGG my girl is SOO lonely/vast coded absolutely. someone who felt isolated at every turn, never had friends,w as never enough for her parents, small and insignificant, she is SO vast/lonely

fabian - junior year fabian was super lonely victim but i think there's something about living up to bill's legacy that is inherently slaughetr yknow i think slaughter avatar and lonely or hunt victim

kristen - desolation. the church of helio. need i say more. okay i probably need say more but i htink it kind of speaks for itself. being the chosen one for the literal Sun God. fire without flame. on the exact inverse shes also very avatar of the dark coded, rejecting her "destiny" and embracing cassandra, a goddess of night and doubt, that plays well into darkness and the obscuration of facts.

riz - i think riz is the easiest, he's an avatar of the eye and a victim of the lonely. honestly if i were to make a magnus archives fantasy high au he would be the archivist probably. i feel like he's also web touched because of kalina

bonus content

tracker is an avatar/victim of the hunt, kalina is an avatar of the web, chungledown bim is an avatar of the hunt, and baron is an avatar of the lonely.

[misfortunekeep]

Hmm, the inkblade thirst came back to rear it's head for a hot minute

Fig decided one day that she wanted to have badass shiny hair that just glistens under the multi-colored lights so that they look like jewels were on her hair every time she moves when they play and she decided that Grog was gonna get the same hair treatment cause they're bandmates and they need to match. For the brand.

Fabian, as a sexy, badass, pirate, oracool of dance, half high-elf jock performer, he shall not be outdone by the shiny hair competish.

It is unfair, however, if he uses his riches to get the best products while his rivals don't (they don't have time to research the perfect haircare routine) so he took it upon himself to have their hair analyzed and set up a haircare routine they shall religiously follow and he shall win by pure will and because he is Fabian Aramias Seacaster and he shan't be outdone! This is not a ploy to have haircare dayouts with his friends, no, never! How dare you even consider!

Cue Adaine's almost faded sunshine hair to turn into the closest thing to golden it could possibly be.

Oisin notices how her hair slowly gains more color, how it looks healthier- more shiny and less greasy.

Until one day he clocks it. Her hair has turned gold.

Oisin is in distress.

He is in so much distress. Adaine is already so engrained on his being after their whole "I tried to sacrifice you to a God/ I killed your entire clan" debacle but with that golden hair, his draconic instincts would instantly latch on it and suddenly he can spot her a mile away.

He swears she's done it on purpose, certain that she knew it would distract him which would bring his academic performance into an embarrassing low.

Was it not enough that her eyes resemble the sapphires he hoard and the storms he loves? Must her hair be the exact same shade that his ancestors demand he takes for himself?

It's unbecoming, unadvisable, most likely a crime, to take your (Adversary? Friend? Crush turned enemy turned crush again except you have no right after what you did?) former classmate to hoard away because her hair look like gold.

Not even real gold at that!

The embarrassment!

He let it slip one day that her plan of distracting him with her new shiny golden hair won't work and she clocked that bit much to his dismay.

He nearly had a simultaneous heart attack and aneurysm when she came to school one day covered in gold accessories.

Gold headband, gold hair clips, gold rings, necklace, earrings, bracelets, anklets, belt, pen??, her freaking frog in a gold collar?!

He had to fight his instincts with every fiber of his being from simply stalking to her and hoard all that gold look no one is even trying to take it just nab her quick-

Adaine had to stop when there was truly a notable decline in his grades and performance (she saw him stare at her hair and not blink for a solid 5 minutes), Oisin refuses to talk about it.

He so badly wants to crawl into a hole and hide when she smirks at him or just give in and hoard her let's see who's going to be smug then-

Adaine continues to spite him by taking better care of her hair.

Oisin learns to handle his instincts some more.

No one can touch her hair without him appearing out of nowhere to stop it (he believes himself inconspicuous, the numerous videos his friends of him says otherwise).

Just cause he can't keep her hair doesn't mean anyone can touch it.

Someone learns that if they want Oisin, they could just try to touch Adaine's hair and he would suddenly materialize.

Adaine swears he put a motion sensor on her hair.

Oisin near lost his mind when he realized the reason he became testy on some days was because he did not see part of his hoard.

He almost combusted when he realized he claimed her hair as his treasure- and by extension, Adaine.

[thespoonisvictory]

I'm maintaining that drawing a line about "'real" and "true" friendship that the bad kids have vs the rat grinders kind of defeats the point of them for me. What if two of them hadn't died in that gym, bonding them irreversibly as a group? What if Riz had shrunk inwards as a result of being bullied because he didn't have such a kick-ass, encouraging mom? What if Adaine didn't have a panic attack and got into Hudol? What if Fabian didn't grow out of some of the worse aspects of his behavior? What if Fig's horns never came in? What if Kristen's parents had a slightly tighter grip on her?

The rat grinders are not "lesser" inherently than the bad kids. Even some of the things heralded as bad signs, to be honest, are things that the bad kids do/did. I'm not saying they're as close, and I'm not saying they're on equally moral sides of the argument. I'm saying that they would have had inside jokes, and silly sleepovers, and clearly don't sit around treating their adventuring party like a business interaction (they made stupid codes for all their allies). I'm saying that there's many versions of these two groups that are much more similar. I'm saying that Ruben's House is their Mordred Manor, wizard tower and all.

I'm saying, above all else, maybe, fuck Porter. Because he was one of the adults in the situation here, and he led them to be sacrificed so he could be a god. The rat grinders didn't get Jawbone, or Sandra Lynn, or Sklonda, or Garthy, or Ayda, or even Aguefort himself, really. They put their trust in adults who showed them a way to catch up to their school rivals (who they, at this point, had not directly antagonized in anyway other than petty, one-sided rivalry), and they abused that.

[velvetvexations]

The thing about comparing Kipperlilly's grudge to hating DEI and affirmative action is that those things are exactly what she's advocating for. The Bad Kids are not receiving accommodation for anything - and in fact Aguefort seems like the type to despise things like accommodations and would tell disabled people to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, but I digress -rather, they have direct connections to massive save-the-world plots three years in a row now that puts them way ahead of everyone else. Though they put in hard work, that doesn't change the fact that no one else working as hard as they can will ever equal being told to go stop a god from coming back and coincidentally your dad (a) worked directly with that dead god's primary agent in the past and (b) is now a super cool angel secret agent who will directly assist you in the task. Oh, and also, your teammate's parents are the dead god's primary mortal agents. And also they kidnapped your other teammate's dad because he's a powerful demon lord so now she's involved too. And you all happen to end up on Leviathan, where Fabian is an instant celebrity who immediately gets a cult worshiping the planks he walks on because they all work for his rich undead infernal dad.

The issue is that people keep mapping it to the real world and seeing "tragic backstory" like it would be IRL, which is a mistake. It's not a disability. They don't go to normal school to become accountants or NASA engineers, they are there to be doing exactly that shit that their backstories rope them into. Like, this isn't Buffy, they aren't saving the world incidentally, this is school for saving the world to pursue a career in saving the world. Spyre functions so differently from IRL that everyone is dramatically failing to comprehend the actual situation everyone is in.

And the thing about hating affirmative action is that it presumes someone only got into whatever not because they have skill, but because of their race or something like that. That's manifestly different from what's going on here. Kipperlilly has no doubt the Bad Kids are incredibly powerful and skilled - but their backstories gave them opportunities to use that power and skill that no one else will ever have regardless of effort or even luck. The Bad Kids can't go five seconds without tripping over the revelation that the BBEG for the year is one of their second cousins. That just doesn't happen to other people, period. The world revolves around the BK's in ways it will never revolve around anyone else so the Bad Kids will always get the massive adventures to save the world and be the top of their class because they're personally connected to the narrative.

Remember, Brennan has confirmed that other AA students do not do shit like that. They do exactly the sort of missions you'd expect them to - go in dungeon, fight monsters, come back. It's not "uh, the Rat Grinders should have just gone out and saved the world too", that's not how it works. AA students are not usually expected to, their rat grinding is just a more tedious and efficient version of what they would be doing otherwise. The BK's don't get involved with these plots simply because they're the most heroic heroes ever who seek wrongs to right, they do it because every single time everyone but Gorgug (who is for the most part absent major narrative stakes) was born someone that would get those in's, feats reproducible by no one else.

"Ah, but the Seven-"

The Seven prove the tragedy of it. Because Kipperlilly is right, but she's also wrong. The brilliance of BLeeM this season is that he's crafted a narrative inseparable from the meta of how the game works. In a very real way this is like the Dungeons & Dragons versions of Tron. The fact that it's a series of fictional TTRPG sessions is essential to the universe and it's story, in a Twin Peaks-ian way.

Because, see, it's not actually, technically magical trauma that gives out those narrative advantages. Magical trauma is just the most obviously visible side-effect. What the issue actually is is that, as everyone has noted over and over again, the Rat Grinders are NPCs, and it is therefore impossible for the world to ever bend itself around them the way it does for the PCs. Except, most are just saying that as a funny haha joke.

No, like, literally, that's the issue. They will always be in the shadow of the handful of people that the people constructing their world, their timeline, their very existence, has decided matter. They are doomed by narrative causality to be "boring". And I'm going to take a moment to say here, isn't it crazy no one is talking about this when we just got done with Neverafter which was all about this exact thing????? Like, literally the BBEG was the Authors. That is the situation here, more or less.

Anyway, there will never be a demon attacking that due to a curse is only vulnerable to hot licks from Ruben's guitar passed down from the first gnomish rocker. Mary Ann will never be the prophesized liberator of kobolds enslaved in dragon dens. Ivy will never find out her father was secretly a super-soldier for the Council of Chosen who before he was assassinated left her notes detailing a sinister plot within the government of Solace.

People keep having a hard time with this because it intuitively doesn't feel right to ever classify something like losing a father in any context to have some kind of bright side. But if you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this: Adventuring as it's done in Spyre is not something done in the real world. Adventuring is something everyone chose to go to AA to learn and put into practice as their long-term career. And in that, absolutely these things give the PCs a completely one hundred percent insurmountable leg-up on the thing they're all in competition for.

And it being completely insurmountable in that way further goes to show the difference between hating that situation and hating affirmative action. Even AA is not a guarantee that a specific member of the majority will lose out on something and a specific member of the minority will get it instead. As soon as the character sheets were rolled everyone else at Aguefort may as well have just gone home and started studying to be accountants because the main characters had been chosen. Or they could keep going and hope they get a spin-off, I guess.

But Kipperlilly does keep trying, for she doesn't really comprehend the true eldritch horror beyond her existence shackled to the bits of a bunch of comedians, and her solution is to adjust for those unfair advantages.

Which is affirmative action.

How is that not obvious.

[melancholy--lion]

If you saw this on the Dropout Discord, no you didn't. But I have to talk about the family dynamics and relationships in this last episode of Fantasy High because I can't stop thinking about it.

Okay but seriously, the conversation with Sklonda and the one with Aelwyn have me feeling all sorts of ways thanks to my weird mix of developmental trauma. They hit SO HARD

I can't stop thinking about how Aelwyn felt like she had to move out not because anyone did anything wrong at Mordrid Manor, but because they were too kind and nice to her. Like there's this incredibly confusing and impossible to articulate combination of despair, confusion, disgust, jealousy, and shame that comes from being in a place that loves and accepts you for you after being in a place that didn't for so long. And how even if you know logically that the place is safe and you are loved, your body just doesn't believe it and you're constantly on edge and overwhelmed. It's painfully relatable as someone with that experience. I've never seen someone else relate or put those feelings into words before but I feel so seen.

Sklonda just caring so deeply about her son and being so worried and also so frustrated with her son's friends is just heartbreaking. And her not liking that they call him Ball is just icing on the cake. Because in reality, it's not a very kind nickname, seeing as it comes from Riz being bullied. And even though Riz has reclaimed it, the scars are still healing for Sklonda and that's deep too. That hit real hard too!

OH and don't even get me started on Fabian being neglected. His mom called FIG AND NOT HIM?! OH MY GOD IT HURTS! The role play this season hurts SO GOOD!!

[dejaruhe]

Deeply fascinated by my own reactions to fhjy EP 19. I don't think any other season has made me so sad about the BBEGs and their crews, and I've caught up on most of the seasons now... I wonder if it's because they're mostly kids, if it's because BLeeM is deliberately doing a "humanize BBEGs" season (the way he plays Mary Ann 😭)... how much of it is being more involved with Tumblr fandom? I see Starbreaker art and I get all these headcanons about Jace and how he's being manipulated by someone he loves, and I see ratgrinders art and get headcanons about them, and the only BBEG that I honestly wanna see die is Porter. The rest of them have been killed and brought back wrong, I think, and if Porter can also control folks with stress tokens, they're all just being brutally puppeted. I get how the Bad Kids have lots of rage built up and I'm down with them doing whatever — Fabian reacting to Ivy's shit about fucking skinning Mazey the way he did seems quite in-character and honestly? Kind of justified? And Oisin certainly deserves the axe to the chest that he received, he's been planning to fuck with Seacaster Manor all year, he set SO MANY dragons on them (!), but I'm glad his head is still attached. I really want them all to be able to be brought back uncorrupted, or as followers of Real Ankarna at the very least. I feel like if they kill everybody and save Ankarna and Cassandra, then the gods can help heal the puppet bad guys and just leave Porter in hell... 🤞🏻

[found-family-tournament]

Found Family Tournament Round 1 Part 10 Group 50

Propaganda and further pictures under the cut

The Bad Kids: Riz "The Ball" Gukgak, Adaine Abernant, Fabian Aramaris Seacaster, Gorgug Thistlespring, Figueroth "Fig" Faeth, Kristen Applebees (& Ragh Barkrock)

Drawtectives: Gyorik "York" Rogdul, Grendan "Grandma" Highforge, Rosé, Jancy True, Eugene Finch

Submissions are still open!

The Bad Kids:

before i start the pictures below are by isawiitch (https://www.tumblr.com/isawiitch), victor rosas (https://twitter.com/SirVictorThe2nd), and m0nomercy (https://www.tumblr.com/m0nomercy) respectively check them out they're very cool and also that middle guy did the official art for fantasy high its very cool

Mods note: said middle picture is a .webp. And I sadly can't add those. But the others are below

anyways all of these dumb teens are just god they complete each other they're the most important people in the world to each other like fabian and gorgug meeting with a punch to the stomach and going on to share a hug in an evil forest and "DO YOU WANT ME TO BITE IT OUT FOR YOU" "the ball, wait" -riz and fabian and kristen's really bad inspiring speech (they're gonna get inspiring real soon) but they are inspiring because they're from the best and sweetest friend in the whole world and gorgug getting razzed a little for thinking random people are his dad and the sheer joy everyone felt for him when he met his real parents and RIZ THE BALL GUKGAK AND FABIAN SEACASTER THE DUO OF ALL TIME and adaine learning to be a normal teen and fig swearing she's not an open person when she pours her heart out to her friends every chance she gets and riz and adaine being the only two non-horny members of the team and bonding over that and being smart but terrible in social interactions together and "its called being gay, when you're here you're family" -kristen applebees, 2019 and fig starting a band with gorgug, one of the more socially awkward members of the party and "what would riz do" "you bite down hard on a piece of glass" and adaine's actual worst fear being what she would become after her friends passed and the KILL YOUR DAD chant and its gorgug keep going and all of them feeling each others' overcoming of fear in the forest of the nightmare king no matter how far apart they are and riz shooting off an incel's fingers for being weird about adaine (there was other stuff going on but you can't convince me that it wasn't at least partially because of that) and the gang not really letting gorgug and kristen forget that one time they died (they got better and were psychologically okay with it after a bit so this was lighthearted jabs and not straight-up reminding them of a big traumatic moment) and "my friends were warmer to me on the first day that we met than you were to me in my whole life" -adaine abernant, 2020

AND that doesn't even include all the crazy stuff with bad kids-adjacent found family members like gilear faeth getting his life back together thanks to these teens and jawbone o'shaughnessy being the dad of all time to the point where he actually adopts adaine at the end of sophomore year and aelwyn abernant holy shit (she's harder to justify here because her main important interactions are with her sister, unlike gilear who is technically fig's stepdad but is a core part of the found family in all directions) aelwyn abernant is trying so desperately hard to be better and ayda aguefort and adaine swapping homemade spells named after each other (adaine kills her dad with hers its a good time) and ragh barkrock getting over his internalized homophobia

SO IN CONCLUSION these guys have changed each other so much and every single combination of them, be it a duo or a trio or whatever has a distinct dynamic thats so so important to me. they're all family to each other, some of them more than even their real families. they are the guys of all time and my blorbos even and are a wicked good found family

Sometimes a family is the kids who all got detention together on the first day of school at adventuring academy.

And sometimes that family is:

A Half-elf-Half-Pirate rich boy who killed toxic masculinity by learning how to dance, and mercy-killed his father by stabbing him with a sword.

"The Greatest Wizard of this Age" (actually a Barbarian who took a level in artificer to boost his cellphone-reception to call and apologize to his satyr girlfriend) Half-Orc drummer who was adopted by Gnomes;

A bisexual Punk-rocker Tiefling who thought she was a wood-elf until her horns came-in & caused her and her adoptive father to discover that her biological father is actually an Archdevil;

The Elven Oracle (later just "The Oracle"/"Everybody's Oracle") who was adopted by the school's Werewolf Guidance Councilor after her evil parents disowned her (she later punched her evil bio-dad to death in a single round of combat, despite being a magic caster);

An aro-ace (un)licensed Private Investigator Goblin who carries a briefcase and ate the face of the dragon that ate his father;

And a lesbian ex-fundie human who met the corn-god her family worships, found out he sucks & left the church and her family, CREATED HER OWN GOD (of Buzzfeed listical symbols, known first as "YES!" then later "YES?"), only to then abandon that god to become the Saint of the long forgotten Goddex/Goddess of Mystery, Night and Magic.

(Optionally, add in the Half-Orc repressed-gay bully they befriended and helped come out)

And sometimes, that found family becomes a literal family, because over the course of the series:

Fig's mom starts dating Adaine's adoptive dad,

Fig's adoptive dad gets engaged to Fabian's mom,

Fig's biological dad starts dating Riz's mom,

Kirsten starts dating the niece of Adaine's adoptive dad/Fig's mom' boyfriend.

(Gorgug is the only one who still isn't related to the others, but he did find his biological parents. And although he still lives with his adoptive parents, he is now in the famous band "Fig and the Cig Figs" along-side his bio-parents, Fig, and Fig's bio-dad)

Currently, Fig, Adaine, Kirsten, Fig's mom, Adaine's adopted dad, Kirsten's GF, Adaine's biological older sister, Adaine's sister's ghost fiancé, Ragh, Ragh's mom, and Fig's Half-Phoenix librarian/pirate GF all live in one giant haunted old Victorian-style Manor.

Drawtectives:

They are so silly and cute <3 Three strangers bond over solving a murder mystery as interns to a tired detective/mom figure. In s2 they pick up an amnesiac guy and adopt him as a son (despite one of them being younger than him). Everyone pls watch Drawtectives it's so fun and there's lots of wacky drawing shenanigans involved

they are SILLY they are BESTIES they are in a POLYCULE they LOVE EACHOTHER 🥺🥺 (eugene is their son who is also their age and jancy is their mom. dw its not weird) (art included is all by karina @dilfosaur of drawfee)

[rebelsafoot]

TELL ME ABOUT THE DESCENDANTS BAD KIDS AU PLEASEEEEEE I NEED NOTHING MORE IN MY LIFE

OK THIRD MOVIE TIME THE END IS NEAR!!!

So back in move one/two buddy was student president, but then kristen beat him and he/his evil preacher dad was Not happy about it, mainly bc kristen starts talking abt accepting everyone and talking about her new doubt got etc etc they just kind of hate her like they do in fh

so buddy pulls an audrey and goes full evil, starts believing in bakarath the very real rage god and is helped by porter/jace because yeah they can still be evil here, as a treat.

so fig and ayda are talking about like letting more kids come to the hero school, they bring over bucky and some other kids that i havent thought about, but bucky and kristen and just kind of eevie and dizzy. as they're bringing the kids off the island, ankarna who was awoken by buddy's whole Thing tries to escape, and that the version of hades trying to get out in this au.

so that makes fig and ayda decide to keep the barrier up for good, but then everything with buddy starts to happen, he's starting the whole rage curse thing instead of a sleeping curse, and so the bad kids go back to the island to get some magical item to stop it.

that's where they run into kipperlilly and the rat grinders. kipperlilly ends up with the item they need and they end up having to work together like in the movie. lucy is like eevie where she Really wants everyone to get along and tries to make everyone work together, but it is not going great. kipperlilly is beefing with kristen and riz and there is just Tension with everyone else. they do keep accidentally bonding while being forced to work together and kipperlilly hates it, but lucy loves it

it comes out that fig and ayda had decided to keep the barrier closed forever and everyone else is Obviously upset by this. that gives buddy the chance to curse them as well, and now everyone but fig is affected by the curse

fig ends up with her whole paladin thing with ankarna to stop the rage curse, buddy is like "Oops my bad guys," but he's really nice now and everyone forgives him. the rat grinders and the bad kids are friends by the end of it and everything works out in the end!

SO that's all of the au i've thought abt, i obv glossed over the smaller details but if anyone else is interested at All in this au please come up w ur own ideas!! and i am always happy to yap more abt it i havent even touched on fabian and riz yet

[joysmercer]

okay I’m so curious about the short fic you posted yesterday

can I ask how in this universe nina dies? And does eddie too?

(it’s mask of anubis on main btw)

ooh fun questions!! i was hoping someone would ask cuz i couldn't figure out how to work it in. also i added way too much info that you didnt ask for so now it's under the cut :D

first of all, this au is a much darker take on how i think nina's life "actually" played out – I think she'll always have random spirits coming up to her etc, but in this au, it's pretty constant and can get very dangerous very quickly. on the flip side, she sees a lot more fame for her "irl" work than she does "in canon" (see below).

somewhat ironically (given how guarded nina becomes from the constant barrage of gods forcing her to do things), she makes her living off of writing movies about her experiences. i think she does this in canon too, but here she really throws herself into it, almost like a form of therapy since there isn't really any professional she can process things with, you know? she eats, sleeps, breathes her craft – whenever she has downtime, she's writing, editing, networking to get her words out there. she's so fast and so talented with it that she graduates university in three years with honors, by which time the chosen one (season 1) has already been picked up by a major company and has started filming; she wins her first oscar two years later, and the next two each year after that.

(actually, all four scripts got picked up at the same time, which is why the turnaround was so quick – but they didn't announce the sequels until after the oscars because at that point she was a relatively unknown person)

(also i know this isn't how these things work irl but just work with me here. maybe she called in a favor from a random god and had things sped along idk)

anyway, the point im trying to make is that she spends her whole life balancing what she wants to do (her work) with what she has to do (paragon shit) and has a weird sense of self-worth as a result (she knows she's good at what she does, but wants to hide it from the world at the same time (out of fear). she hates that she needs others to keep her safe and refuses to believe they're doing it out of kindness, even though she also knows that they genuinely love her. it's weird) (also she and fabian make up sometime during their uni years so all is good there)

anyway, they (amber + KT) set up a rota of all ex-sibuna members (+ willow as she learns about it pretty quickly post-grad) to spend time in the states for a couple months out of the year each. this essentially made sure there was always 1 other person on the mission with her and 2 people nearby who knew where they were going, should things go wrong and they need rescuing or something. but for small/random tasks, nina would just do those alone.

her last mission (that fabian alludes to) had taken months to complete: three formerly-benign ghosts had been "turned" by a magician up in canada, released from the underworld, and, driven mad by the magic (and confusion of being back in the real world), had started a series of freak thunderstorms across the american midwest. together with jerome, she had to figure out how they got released, stop the magician, construct the device necessary to trap the spirits and send them back, and use said device to stop the storms. the effort had completely exhausted her (so much so that she – making headlines – decided to take a step back on touchstone production, instead of hanging out on set like she did for the other three)

(that's why tor is the way it is. with her dropping off of the face of the earth, someone decided – while she couldn't argue against it – to absolutely slash the budget, which lead to a mess of a story (screenplay is the only oscar it wins)

nina's death (as alluded to in the article) really seemed out-of-the-blue. basically, she was on a mission – alone – that suddenly and very unexpectedly turned dangerous. but when she was found (by KT and amber together) it looked like she just collapsed at home – there was no indication of any foul play or anything, really, of how she died.

also alluded to in the article, but a lot (but not all) of KT's "investigative journaling" was her covering up the consequences of nina's missions with theories that would make sense to the general public. nina's last request of her was to halt any investigation into her death prematurely as she knew things would unravel pretty quickly otherwise

joy's role in nina's life was mainly to book her for enough public-facing events/etc so that people wouldn't question where she was when she "disappeared" for a month or two, as well as act as her social media manager/"source close to her" to tabloids during extended absences so people continue to think she's okay. this was especially important given nina's monumental rise to fame (and as a screenplay writer, at that! usually it's the actors/directors who get most of it!) and her relatively young age, which meant she got herself a fandom very quickly…and we all know what the rumor-spreading capabilities of stan twitter are like. there were quite a few times nina came back from a mission to find several "new" pics on her instagram or that shes going viral for something she doesn't "remember" saying lskdjf

amber's role was to media-train the hell out of nina so she never gives any indication that a) there's an element of truth in her work; b) she lives a double life; and c) weird things keep happening in the cities she happens to frequent (eg random buildings falling, artifacts disappearing, etc). we all know this girl can't lie to save her life…amber is nothing but a miracle-worker in that regard lol

as for eddie – his death is basically the reason things are so awful, now. he actually dies at the end of tor, and not only does osiris himself blame nina for it (using "logic" that can rival senkhara's in s2), but it also leaves nina terrified since she no longer has a protector – something all the other gods/spirits quickly take advantage of (threats/blackmail/etc) for the first few years, by which time word of her willingness to do anything spreads and she can't get rid of the constant requests. it doesn't help that his death also proved to them that nina (like her counterpart) can, and will, sacrifice herself to save the world, if it came down to it, making her the perfect pawn in a lot of schemes.

[call-me-cole]

Buttoning Up K2

Imagine you are born a complete copy of someone else. You have no idea what it is to be human, no idea what the state of the world is. All you have is a slightly different accent, 2 DVDs, and the innate drive to do bits all the time.

The original version of you has all these friends that put up with her antics but still care. You try to lean into that, but they keep you at arms length unless its a bit or by accident. You are a copy and they know that.

You feel alone and you don't know what you're doing at all but you try to do what the original version would do. You follow her lead. You get accepted into a high school, you flirt and start dating. Everything is just beginning to feel real, until the last party of the year.

You are on a ship when the dragons attack. There is no time for jokes or bits you have to fight. Immediately you rush to the cannons. Shots are sent out and hit after hit the dragons go down, but they keep coming.

Above you the deck is being damaged you don't know how bad, but by the looks on everyone's faces its getting dire. Oh that's right they have a telepathic bond. Suddenly K1 gets up and runs climbing up and sending others down to help. You stay and man the cannons.

More damage rains in and after a devastating lightning crack your originator runs down in search of you. She looks at you scared, bleeding and burnt and you heal her.

You've never known your goddess. Not as she does, but in that moment you feel her. It dawns on you then that you know doubt better than anyone.

As the dragons disappear the tension rises as a clouded figure looms into view. Its open maw blocking your way as wind and storm whips around you. You can see K1 begin to pray. The shards in her pocket begin to glow, but their light soon fades out. Her face falls and as she looks to you you know what she is asking.

"Blimey", you shout. God Blind Me. You have no idea where that came from. You are not even British. Yet it felt right.

The shards begin to glow brighter.

You think harder. Focusing on every moment. From the first time you came into being, to the time you took a pregnancy test. Fabian doesn't even know yet. You think about your future and doubt whether you would live to see it.

You look the clouds head on.

"I said Blimey"

------------------------------------------------------------------

You are K1, no, just Kristen. You aren't the most dexterous, or the best fighter, but no matter what, when your friends need you, you are there. It was you who saved everyone from Kalvaxas. It was you who brought back Cassandra. It was you who released Lucy and Yolanda.

You managed to save Gorgug, and now your friends need you to pull out one more miracle. Its time to save the world and Kristen Chilis Applebees is up to bat. As the clouds swarm into view you recognize him, the Nightmare King. You reach for her shards on instinct. Is it already too late? You pull on that doubt weaving it into words, letting the prayer fall from your lips, but nothing happens.

Why now?

After all this, why now?

You look up and you see your clone followed you here. She looks lost like she always does, but joins you.

"Blimey", the words spring from her lips and the shards start glowing.

What-

She doesn't-

She can't, right-

You think back to when she was first created. Adaine said she was a direct copy and could do everything you can do, but even this?!

You watch her and begin to doubt everything. The shards begin to light up even more.

"I said Blimey"