#Fabian being like IS GOD REAL

[maxdurden]

the raw power of gorgug and kristen synchronized second hand embarrassment is unspeakable

[sapphicmuppet]

okay I am eating up all of the buddy dawn/kristen freshmen year parallels but truly that bitch WISHES he could be half the icon Kristen was freshmen year. Dying from corn on the first day, stealing a car and killing a fleet of tiefling greasers with your friends in what the first week, successfully showing all of her friends the light of Helio in the first battle they were in and then actually being like. No somethings wrong here and having the guts to question the institution she was raised and born into. Buddy could NEVER

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Look, I know we're supposed to hate the Rat Grinders for not going on dangerous adventures and for being (possibly unwittingly) involved in a bunch of chaos and murder and summoning and ancient rage god, but let's be real. If I went to school with the Bad Kids I would fucking hate them also. I'm sure being their close friend is great but being a vague acquaintance in their school would be the fucking worst. If you tell me you'd actually like your classmate Fabian Seacaster, Privileged Millionaire Jock Brat With Gold Neck Tattoo who (from an outside perspective) leads a charmed life and buys popularity by throwing ragers at his dead rich daddy's fancy mansion, you're lying.

[saphic-with-t]

For senior year I think the bad kids would be insanely over powered (high level dnd is nutty) so here are some fun ideas to spice up encounters in a zany sit-com sort of way. This is a long post btw.

1. Physical regression fight

The bad kids are reverted to their freshman bodies and have to fight as their original level one forms.

I’d imagine it as a Last Standard Exam style onslaught. They start as their level one characters and after each semi-quick wave they regrow a little bit, regaining a few levels, until they finally re-reach their present body. Also funny if they have to go through their bodies most awkward puberty stages again.

2. Freaky Friday

The bad kids all swap bodies. All of the players swap character sheets and have to play their character but using the stats/classes entirely of another character. Extra fun if they can’t meta-game by reminding each other of certain abilities or actions they can do irl, as to hammer in how inproficient they are at being one another.

3. Dance Fight

Similar to the Broadway fight from unsleeping city. All the bad kids have to fight in the middle of some major performance/dance act. Maybe it happens during some sort of audition or performance Fabian is doing.

They all have to navigate doing very high level performance and acrobatic checks which means balance actions and recourses have to be spent on both making sure everyone is good at performing and also on fighting well.

4. Doppelgängers

The bad kids fight themselves. Exact same levels, exact same stats.

Extra points if they don’t know which ones are the real ones, so half of the players are fighting with npc versions of the other half and vice versa. This means they have to also figure out which ones are the fakes mid-fight and some of them were actually playing as their own doppelgänger, semi-similar to the Baron fight in junior year. This also means Brennan would be playing as some doppelgängers but also as some of the actual real characters since those players are unknowingly the doppelgängers.

5. Shipping wars

Some ultra-powerful weirdo god-monster is running a spicy dating game and has kidnapped the bad kids. It is super over the top and annoying and is trying to convince/make the bad kids date eachother and fight eachother as couples. The fight is about tricking the freaky god-monster into thinking they actually have fallen for their assigned partner while pretending to fight the other pairs, with the eventual goal of killing it.

Can’t think of any pairing combo that this wouldn’t be funny with. Adaine and Riz would be bad at acting no matter what, Fig and Fabian would be way to convincing, and Gorgug and Kristen would be super awkward with their partner and also not fully know if Fig and Fabian were actually being serious about their respective partner.

6. Babysitter

Fabian has to spend the entire fight protecting/dealing with new baby sibling. Can hand them off to friends if need be. This includes dealing with a child who has 1 hit point in a high level battle, but also doing stuff like making sure they stay asleep (somehow) or changing a dirty diaper.

7. Freaky Friday 2: Parental Controls

All swapped to their parent’s bodies. Adaine becomes Jawbone, Fig becomes Sandra Lynn, Gorgug becomes one of the thistlesprings, Riz becomes Sklonda, Kristen becomes Lydia Barkrock (her secret mother figure), and Fabian becomes Hallaarial (or funnier option, Gilear).

This is funny to me because whatever spell or curse did this considers adoptive/non-genetic parental figures over biological/legal Gaurdians. Also this is extra funny if they have to team up with their parent who has swapped with them. So Adaine has to deal with Jawbone being in her body, Fig with Sandra Lyn being in hers, Gorgug with one of the thistlesprings, etc.

Also funny if other npcs show up (Ayda became Arthur Aguefort, Bucky Applebees as either Mac or Donna, etc).

Would love to see all of these honestly, would love to hear other dumb silly fighting bits y’all would want to see.

[raguonmynieceandnephew]

"It's so unfair to the Rat Grinders that they are killed instantly and the Bad Kids get to roll death saves." SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP

THIS IS LONG, AND HONESTLY FOR MYSELF, SO YEAH READ IF YOU WANT

I swear to god, this discourse is going to fucking be the end of me. Idk what kind of mind boggling spell Brennan Lee Mulligan wove into the fabric of the universe that spread through the data center of Dropout in order to absolutely hijack y'all's brains when it comes to Cocklord Assgape and her ragtag of character foils but whatever it was has made you Rat Grinder stans INSUFFERABLE in this site.

The levels of treating fictional characters as if they were real people have reached a level I honestly have never anticipated, to the point of y'all actually being mad AT THE CAST for "mistreating" them and ACTUALLY QUESTION BRENNAN'S CAPACITY TO DM. Do you not get how fucking insane that is?

We can't make fun of Copperkettle, one of the most pathetic, petty and incompetent villains in D20 history anymore (even though she is masterfully written and developed to generate this reaction from us) anymore because it's bullying apparently. I saw an account flip the fuck out because someone compared her rivalry with Kristen to Drake and Kendrick's beef. KIPPERLILY IS NOT A REAL GIRL. SHE IS A MAKE BELIEVE CHARACTER IN AN IMPROV SHOW SPAWNED FROM THE BRAIN OF A 36 YEAR OLD MAN

And then what truly pissed me off the MOST about this whole hell is the fact that, being chronically online avid consumers of this goddamn show, I would think you would have but a grasp of the main cast of characters' characterization.

Why the uproar about Riz saying they should chop Oisin's head off? The same Riz who tortured that pixie from Freshman year by shooting off their finger one by one? The same Riz who murked a disarmed and unconscious Coach Daybreak without battin an eye? The same Riz who ATE THE CORPSE OF KALVAXUS?

And the whole Fabian vs Ivy debacle MY GOD, THE GIRL WAS RACIST TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AND USED HER LAST BREATH TO CALL MAZEY "OBJECTIVELY UGLY". And the funniest thing is that is not even the most unhinged shit he has ever said.

And finally, Death Save Gate: THE RAT GRINDERS ARE NOT PLAYER CHARACTERS. THEY ARE NPCS! THE RULES FOR EACH WORK DIFFERENTLY, ESPECIALLY THEM BEING BOSS ENCOUNTERS. Imagine having to still hit Ivy or Oisin 2 more times to kill them when there is 14 foot tall Porter throwing legendary actions left and right, with Jace, and other 3 spell casters + Mary Ann and KLCK up and running. It's called balancing the fucking game. Also, game masters are entitled to break, mold and make up any rules they want if they find necessary in order to service themselves and their players. IF YOU PLAY WITH ALL THESE RULES AS THEY COME, GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR TABLE. THIS IS NOT YOUR TABLE.

Not only is Brennan DMing for his CLOSEST FRIENDS EVER, he is also shooting and producing an ENTIRE TV SHOW. So yeah, i think he knows wtf he is doing.

"But the Ratgrinders had no real development": True. But it wasn't for lack of trying from the players. Everytime they tried to know more, the dice didn't let them, so they decided to focus on the mystery. It simply do be like that sometimes.

"But they are just kids!": And so were Penelope, Dayne, Ragh, Zayn, the Bloodrush Players, Aelwyn and Biz. Why wasn't it a problem then? Because most of them were evil to some extent and were about to bring the fucking apocalypse to the world? Yeah, sounds familiar right? And the ones who were manipulated or had any sort of redemption worked their way into earning it, right? Yeah.

In conclusion, I fucking love the Rat Grinders, I truly do, and not unlike 90% of this website, i'm still holding on to hope that they have any sort of development and redemption in the last episode, because I agree, they ARE children and they WERE manipulated by Porter and Jace, but like, can we also agree that they are fucking assholes and had it fucking coming? Also, the BKs are children too y'know. SO STOP BEING FUCKING ANNOYING.

[bloodyshadow1]

So I made a post about Adaine being the principal after killing Arthur Aguefort in a duel. And if that happens I think it would be fun for the bad kids to join her as teachers so here's what I think they teach

Kristen- Cleric teacher obviously. I think she's the most powerful and best cleric in the world, or at the very least Elmville even if she stumbles a lot. I think her background as helioic/solesian, who created her own god and found then revived another gives her a very unique perspective for any young clerics out there. I also think as someone who worships a pantheon it would work like Yolanda giving up her path of following a single god to be more fair to the students she teaches, unlike Bobby Dawn. Kristen has made as many mistakes as you can as a cleric so she would be a very good person to teach kids who might have anxiety about their choices.

Fabian- Bard Teacher, dance and sword. Corsica is a young woman as the fighter teacher so there's no real reason to replace her when the bad kids come of age. Fabian also drifted away from fighter so hard to bard it's clear where his heart is even if he's still an amazing fighter. I think he would be the teacher that brags about being the future and present of dance, along with being the Oracool of Dance to his students. He also has made a lot of steps from his stumbles in his school days and assures his students it's okay to fail, it's okay to wallow but you do have to pick yourself up still. Seacaster manor is still used as a study hall for any students who need it and his is the teacher willing to help any and all students, no matter the class or grade

Gorgug- Barbarian teacher. While I think artificing has his heart more, I could see Gorgug as an amazing Barbarian teacher. His goal is to undo a lot of the toxic aspects of rage and being a barbarian that people like Porter tried to force upon the class and the students taking it. He teaches about the positives of rage, that while it's a strong weapon, it can be an amazing shield to protect people. He is also the main multiclass advisor, he never refuses an MCAT request, he does ask questions but to let students talk about their interests not to make thing think their ideas are stupid or pointless

Riz- Rogue teacher. I think Riz starts to work for the CoC (Council of Chosen) for a bit after graduation, but doesn't like it since it feels more like Narc shit than spy work like his dad did. He's more fair than Yolanda, he is on school grounds more so kids have a chance to find him instead of having to go to a town miles away to find Eugenia. He focuses on the practical application of being a rogue, stressing that it's more than just damage for sneak attack. Being a rogue is about team work to make sneak attack easier, knowing your terrain to making hiding easier and not to jump into lava when you're not fire resistant or immune, investigating things not just focus on killing people

Fig- Sorcery teacher. Obviously she wouldn't be the bard teacher. She didn't go to bard classes as a student, why would she go as a teacher, despite being one of the most famous musicians in Spire. At first it seems like she's just another Jace, you know just hanging with her students instead of really teaching because sorcery is innate. But she's actually very good with them, she actually has experience in knowing what it's like to get powers from your blood instead of hard work. she also encourages her students to try multiclassing since they have time at school, she doesn't want them wasting the time they have when their young. Hackysack is fun, but they should try things when they're young and can get easy A's so try other class.

Adaine- Before she became principal she takes over for Tiberia as the wizarding teacher. she is much kinder and sympathetic than the previous teacher. She also doesn't make her students buy their own spell components and she makes sure that they know that they can explore other disciplines. Everyone thinks she's the sweet gentle wizard teacher until one of her students get bullied and she throws the other kid off them, or a monster attacks the school and she just decks it in the face exploding it's skull from the force of the blow. I also think she recommends that her students get exercise more than any previous wizard teacher. Studying and reading is important, but spells aren't everything, sometimes a healthy lifestyle can save you more than just magic.

[thistlerock]

Sometimes I think about Ecaf. Sometimes I think it was less Fabian being obsessed with himself (though it was also that. Don't get me wrong) and more the fact that every time you look at a mirror it looks back.

I don't know how to word this, I'm not even super sure what I'm trying to say? Fabian thinks he's the greatest guy ever, which is sometimes uncalled for, but at the same time he doesn't seem to like himself that much. The good old "I'm superior and the greatest person in the room at all time but also the second I don't live up to this insane standard I've set for myself I feel like I'm dying. I'm a horrible failure." and yeah Fabian HAS done a lot of work to destroy that insane standard for himself, especially because his father himself (who was the inadvertent reason for it) told him he'll love him no matter what and stuff but just because it's gotten better and the general "goal" has shifted doesn't mean that the overall mindset that was engrained in him for sixteen years of his life is completely gone. It doesn't feel like it's completely gone. It still feels like he's trying way too hard sometimes, and trying to prove something to someone who can at this point only be himself.

But anyway that was me getting side tracked — the point is that it's not like Fabian likes himself enough to be able to stand himself for more than two hours. He needs to be around people.

I don't know. If it was fully just about himself then he wouldn't constantly be vying for attention. It's kind of always been for the recognition, the validation, the vindication. And, again, Fabian's gotten a lot better. He doesn't "throw a fit" (I use this phrase carefully because I don't think it's a "fit" I think if he were a real person this would probably be like. a serious problem lmao) over not getting to hog the spotlight and instead agrees to share it (for example his first time in bard class) but he still needs the spotlight to function and not crumple up and die in a corner. I think he genuinely feels like he's dying if no one is looking at him. I don't mean physically looking, I mean it in the way that his mother has been around for all his life but she didn't really look at him until the day he yelled at her to stop being an object and his father died. Like that. Fabian needs to be looked at or he feels really, really bad I think.

(The crushing loneliness of being alone in a huge manor without parents is something that would creep up on most people, yes. Not being looked at ever by anyone would damage anyone, yes. But I think Fabian is sensitive to it to a degree that's not normal. The Nightmare King's forest did try to scare them away with only the worst of their fears. Chungle-down Bim wasn't even conjured by the forest and the rat was a thing, sure, but the main thing is that no one looked at him anymore. No one could look at him and it was as if they had never been able to do so in the first place. A nightmare-ish future for him was one where he wasn't worth looking at anymore. Has Fabian ever wanted anything but to be seen?)

And it's scary to be like that, I think. To crash the second people stop looking. Because really, how likely is it that people look at you all the time? His friends have lives and concerns and honest to god issues of their own so no matter how much they care they won't be able to look at him all the time. Cathilda loves him as her son, and she's been looking at him for years but she can't right now. She really can't, and it's not like he's around her right now anyway. His father, similarly, loves him endlessly and is overjoyed to look at him any change he gets but his father is dead and in hell and so very busy. And it's hard to get in touch. Hallariel looks, sometimes, fleetingly. And he keeps chasing after it but she gets distracted so easily (and very soon he'll have to learn that Gilear and a hypothetical second child seem to be more eye catching right now, and it'll sting. And no one will really get how bad it is because it just seems kind of childish of him — and it is, kind of. But he should probably be allowed to be childishly upset when his mother seems to find it so hard to look at him and yet continues to find new things to look at. She can't concentrate on looking at the one thing in front of her, please stop getting more. Please look at him. Please.)

It's kind of cruel, but it's impossible to be looked back at every time you look at someone. It's just not gonna happen no matter how much you need it and no matter how much they like looking at you. Not with people. Sometimes they'll have their back turned to you, sometimes they'll take just a second too long to turn back towards you and it hurts, sometimes they might be looking in your general direction but not focusing on you and that might hurt even more. (Why are you not making eye contact? Is this one-sided?) It hurts to look at someone who's not looking at you.

But Ecaf's a mirror, and she looks back. Both literally and, well, not literally. She just mirrors whatever energy is thrown at her so Fabian gets all the endless devotion and attention and admiration and validation and whatnot he needs. He's not super aware of this (or if he is then he's in denial) so it feels like the greatest thing in the world. It feels like the most wonderful connection he's ever forged. Maybe it feels like "love" in the insane way he'd declared Aelwyn his love simply because it was passionate and he wanted it so desperately that it was overwhelming and he didn't know what lt could possibly be other than love. If he can't stop thinking about it, and the thought of losing it makes it hard to breathe then it has to be love, right? I don't know. I just know that every time Fabian looks at Ecaf she looks right back. Suddenly he can get all the things he needs from other people from himself (even if he's not acknowledging that he himself is giving them), it's safe and so much easier. Immediate positive feedback every time. It doesn't matter that everyone else is starting to matter a little less.

So I guess it was about being obsessed with himself after all. Something like that.

[misfortunekeep]

Hmm, the inkblade thirst came back to rear it's head for a hot minute

Fig decided one day that she wanted to have badass shiny hair that just glistens under the multi-colored lights so that they look like jewels were on her hair every time she moves when they play and she decided that Grog was gonna get the same hair treatment cause they're bandmates and they need to match. For the brand.

Fabian, as a sexy, badass, pirate, oracool of dance, half high-elf jock performer, he shall not be outdone by the shiny hair competish.

It is unfair, however, if he uses his riches to get the best products while his rivals don't (they don't have time to research the perfect haircare routine) so he took it upon himself to have their hair analyzed and set up a haircare routine they shall religiously follow and he shall win by pure will and because he is Fabian Aramias Seacaster and he shan't be outdone! This is not a ploy to have haircare dayouts with his friends, no, never! How dare you even consider!

Cue Adaine's almost faded sunshine hair to turn into the closest thing to golden it could possibly be.

Oisin notices how her hair slowly gains more color, how it looks healthier- more shiny and less greasy.

Until one day he clocks it. Her hair has turned gold.

Oisin is in distress.

He is in so much distress. Adaine is already so engrained on his being after their whole "I tried to sacrifice you to a God/ I killed your entire clan" debacle but with that golden hair, his draconic instincts would instantly latch on it and suddenly he can spot her a mile away.

He swears she's done it on purpose, certain that she knew it would distract him which would bring his academic performance into an embarrassing low.

Was it not enough that her eyes resemble the sapphires he hoard and the storms he loves? Must her hair be the exact same shade that his ancestors demand he takes for himself?

It's unbecoming, unadvisable, most likely a crime, to take your (Adversary? Friend? Crush turned enemy turned crush again except you have no right after what you did?) former classmate to hoard away because her hair look like gold.

Not even real gold at that!

The embarrassment!

He let it slip one day that her plan of distracting him with her new shiny golden hair won't work and she clocked that bit much to his dismay.

He nearly had a simultaneous heart attack and aneurysm when she came to school one day covered in gold accessories.

Gold headband, gold hair clips, gold rings, necklace, earrings, bracelets, anklets, belt, pen??, her freaking frog in a gold collar?!

He had to fight his instincts with every fiber of his being from simply stalking to her and hoard all that gold look no one is even trying to take it just nab her quick-

Adaine had to stop when there was truly a notable decline in his grades and performance (she saw him stare at her hair and not blink for a solid 5 minutes), Oisin refuses to talk about it.

He so badly wants to crawl into a hole and hide when she smirks at him or just give in and hoard her let's see who's going to be smug then-

Adaine continues to spite him by taking better care of her hair.

Oisin learns to handle his instincts some more.

No one can touch her hair without him appearing out of nowhere to stop it (he believes himself inconspicuous, the numerous videos his friends of him says otherwise).

Just cause he can't keep her hair doesn't mean anyone can touch it.

Someone learns that if they want Oisin, they could just try to touch Adaine's hair and he would suddenly materialize.

Adaine swears he put a motion sensor on her hair.

Oisin near lost his mind when he realized the reason he became testy on some days was because he did not see part of his hoard.

He almost combusted when he realized he claimed her hair as his treasure- and by extension, Adaine.

[cccakessslicemeee]

+some thoughts but I don't have the time to create a full fic so uh... Here if you like?

Season 3 spoilers??? Yeah read at your own risk

I guess also season 1 spoilers???

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Y'all think there's a world where Riz takes on so much fucking stress his heart gives out and his mom is the first person to find him home and dead?

Papers all over the place. Kristen's campaign scattered across his desk. No sign of a struggle, lukewarm coffee on the desk. He worked himself to death.

And she just has to have a second to really process what this bullshit friend group is putting her baby through. Are they even his friends? Why is he putting his blood, sweat, and tears into their bullshit? Why can't they step the fuck up?

She has him revived and brings him to a hospital because gods know how long it's been since he's had a real check up. She's fuming.

Riz feels like absolute shit. Sure he's alive but the tension all over is still there and his chest still kinda hurts. Ugh. This sucks.

He doesn't fight with his mom or the doctors he kind of wishes everyone would fucking shut the fuck up. The lights are too bright and everyone's voice is three times higher than it needs to be. Man what level do wizards or whatever get to be able to casts zone of silence?

What follows next is the biggest crash from burnout. It swallows Riz whole and puts him in a functional depression but he doesn't have the energy to do literally anything. He doesn't say a word to his friends about what happened because honestly it's just so fucking dumb. They don't need to know.

Sklonda probably pops off when her and Gorthalax have dinner or whatever. Obviously I don't think she'd bad mouth Fig Infront of her father but boy shitting howdy does she have essays about Fabian and Kristen. Everyone honestly probably has essays to spew about Kristen and her nonsense but regardless.

Gorthalax very subtly tries to mention something to fig but she figures that shit out real quick and oh fuck Riz was so stressed out his heart popped. She goes german shepherd about it and makes a lotta stops at Riz's place. Only to her surprise Riz is not in his business casual. Who the fuck is this guy? It's Riz but he's swimming in sweaters and he looks so tired. He doesn't want her here right now he doesn't feel good.

There's a long pause between the pair before Riz knows that she knows and they both feel so fucking bad.

"I went to bard class today. And I'm gonna go again tomorrow."

"...so you're doing what you're supposed to do? Finally? Congratulations?"

"Yeah...so everyone's at Mordred if you wanna pop over? Lydia made so much chili-you know how she do."

"I do, know she cooks for an army. Thanks for stopping by but I really just want to sleep. Save me some?"

"No promises. You can sleep at the manner with us. No one can get into my room so like if you wanna be left alone you can be alone but with us?"

"I would really appreciate being truly just alone right now. Thanks."

"That sucks. I miss your face. Can I come in?"

"Please don't. Fig I really can't. Please just leave me alone. I don't want to be bothered. "

"Is it because it's me? Because like I could go get Fabian or Adine."

"No. Sometimes people just want to be alone."

"Oh. Okay I get that. Yeah so if you need me I'll just be outside the door."

"Fucking hell-no. NO! I want to be left entirely alone. Please go back to the manner. It's gonna be so weird if you just hover at my door."

"Well it's that or I crash on your couch? Or you come to the manor? "

"Why are you like this?"

"I went shepherded mode. Sorry. I promise to shut up if you let me inside. Please?"

For the first time in his life he thinks about putting a hole in his friends chest. For only a half second. Fig is just being herself and this is how she shows love. By being a clingy pain in the ass. He begrudgingly lets her inside because if he doesn't he'll never get to sleep again. She'll do something about it.

He goes to bed. She watches the fantasy equivalent of legally blonde and whatever else comes across the T.V.

Riz loses the desire to do anything. His clue board looks fucked up but he couldn't care less. His briefcase feels so damn heavy in his hand now, the suits are so damn restrictive and hard to breathe in. The necktie his father gave him feels like a noose now. Ugh. It's too much. He's a bad son whatever, worse agent.

Maybe his dad calls to check in. He was doing a mission wasn't he? He doesn't have the stomach to lie to his dad so he just doesn't pick up. Can't lie if you don't say anything right? He can apologize later when he doesn't feel as shitty.

Riz spends a lot of time in bed doing nothing. It's such a hard pivot and Sklonda has no idea how to handle this. She tries.

Fig tells the bad kids that Riz is in a funk and she blames herself because she's probably the reason his heart popped. When they get the gritty deets I think it ticks something in all their brains collectively and they crack down on the school bullshit. Mainly helping Kristen and Fig through their stuff and Gorgug you can't really do much for him because the teacher hates him but they still try.

Riz doesn't want to do a fucking thing. He just wants to sleep. Fabian sees Riz in a state of being similar to his mom and it's wild. He doesn't know how to handle that.

"Riz if you don't get the fuck up, I'm going to stab you."

"you know where the door is. You can leave."

And Fabian stabs Riz in his side. The goblin frenzy's so hard bc what the fuck man that shit hurts why are you being a huge piece of shit ow! There's blood on my sheets you pompous asshole.

They have a fight. It's more of like a pissed off cat clawing the shit out of its owner and the owner just trying not to lose an eye while lil Tiffany calms the fuck down.

Fabian hog ties Riz and they go to Mordred Manor where Kristen was practicing her campaign speeches Infront of a wide audience of Zayne Dark shadow, Jawbone, Sandra Lynn, Adine, and quite possibly a couple of other spirits just floating about. She's really stepped up her game and even put on a clip on tie! God she's so like, professional now. Maybe she's got a suit on bc she's really fucking trying.

Riz is kind of impressed. Like it's still not good but the effort Kristien is pouring into this still counts for something. And it's better than it was before.

Jawbone probably cheers for her. "Hell yeah, Fetty Wap. ((Who the fuck is that?))" And Adine has to whisper explain it to him.

Sandra Lynn sees something in Riz she can relate to and she doesn't like that. He's so young. He shouldn't be having those feelings. Jawbone clocks it too but doesn't get in the way or dog pile Riz. For now they put him at the table and just try to get him something to eat. No appetite. Go figure. They've seen him inhale food before and three bites (pretty generous honestly) of chili are not enough to fill his belly. There ain't no way.

Adine sees Riz's fucked up foot and she looks to Fabian already knowing what happened. "Did you stab him?"

"it was a friendly stabbing. Thank you. It got him up and out of bed."

And Fabian is also covered in claw marks and several bites

"well I suppose that's true."

Kristen's got it. She heals up Riz's foot and Fabian's everything.

Riz tries to leave after a lil bit but they won't let him. He really wants some space. Everyone's kinda suffocating him in a way where they are trying *not* to be on top of him. It sucks.

Riz does something crazy. He slips off his shoes and socks and climbs out the window getting on the roof just to get away from all the "Riz would you like to..., Riz could you.., Riz come here a second.." he needs to breathe.

When he gets to the rooftop Sandra Lynn is there smoking a clove. "You have a high tolerance." She remarks.

"yeah well... Yeah." He sighs.

"you want me to leave? If you promise not to fling yourself from the rooftop I'll let you have the roof."

"I'm not gonna make Kristen waste her spell slots on me."

That's horribly telling.

"kiddo... What good is a cleric who doesn't heal her friends? That's kinda the whole point of having revivify and greater restoration. Isn't that why YOU ripped a defibrillator off the wall on freshman year?"

His ears bounce. "How do you even know about that?"

She laughs. "Jawbone does not stop talking about you guys. They haven't had the time or the funding to replace that one in the cafeteria you yanked yet he was complaining about it being a safety hazard and I asked who would be dumb enough to rip that thing off the walls."

"Oh. Wow. That feels like a lifetime ago."

"Doesn't it?" She muses. "Hey. I know Jawbone is a lot to some people but if you need to talk to anyone and it's not him he knows a lot of other reputable people."

"why does everyone think that? I'm perfectly fine."

"...Are you? You took your shoes off to climb the manor. It's a pretty long climb."

Frustrated. "Did you know I'd be up here?"

"You think you're the only one who needs a breather? I love my daughters so much but there are times I have to get the fuck away from them. I'd do anything for them. Anything. But sometimes I have to take a puff of a clove and not be near them and their energy. It's not because I don't love them, I wish I could tolerate the nonsense as well as Jawbone does. Truly. But some people have thinner nerves and weaker stomachs."

"it's because of Kristen isn't it?"

She smiles and then shrugs. "It's because of Kristen this time, but mostly because I see myself in Fig and I can do almost nothing to stop her from walking in the same direction I did when I was her age. I think you help her with that, you all do so before I run my mouth all night thank you for making sure my daughter has good friends who love her."

"I know she loves me a lot too. I don't get it with her...nonsense but I know she loves me and that means a lot."

"I have love for you too kiddo. Don't feel like you can't reach out to any of us. Okay?"

"...yeah. thanks."

Sandra Lynn smiles. She ruffles his hair a little bit then goes back inside so Riz can stare at the stars until the sun comes up. Tomorrow is another day.

[a-cat-in-toffee]

bad kids avatar and victim headcanons lets go 🔥🔥

fig - obvious answer is avatar of the desolation (paladin of ankarna) but i feel like the stranger could also play into her impersonations of people tbh. (she would also make a pretty good slaughter avatar, music flavored obviously.) ON THE INVERSE my girl would absolutely be a stranger victim as well esp because of how afraid she is that everyone likes her for her facade and not how she actually is. I could totally see her being a victim turned avatar

gorgug - i think my first instinct would be either hunt/slaughter because barbarian. rage. duh. but i think hes got real buried vibes HEAR ME OUT it is CONSTANTLY talked about how gorgug is too large for places + he had to crawl through a small and enclosed space in the forest of the nightmare king

adaine - you would THINKK she would be the eye because she's an oracle but you'd be WRONGGG my girl is SOO lonely/vast coded absolutely. someone who felt isolated at every turn, never had friends,w as never enough for her parents, small and insignificant, she is SO vast/lonely

fabian - junior year fabian was super lonely victim but i think there's something about living up to bill's legacy that is inherently slaughetr yknow i think slaughter avatar and lonely or hunt victim

kristen - desolation. the church of helio. need i say more. okay i probably need say more but i htink it kind of speaks for itself. being the chosen one for the literal Sun God. fire without flame. on the exact inverse shes also very avatar of the dark coded, rejecting her "destiny" and embracing cassandra, a goddess of night and doubt, that plays well into darkness and the obscuration of facts.

riz - i think riz is the easiest, he's an avatar of the eye and a victim of the lonely. honestly if i were to make a magnus archives fantasy high au he would be the archivist probably. i feel like he's also web touched because of kalina

bonus content

tracker is an avatar/victim of the hunt, kalina is an avatar of the web, chungledown bim is an avatar of the hunt, and baron is an avatar of the lonely.

[thespoonisvictory]

I'm maintaining that drawing a line about "'real" and "true" friendship that the bad kids have vs the rat grinders kind of defeats the point of them for me. What if two of them hadn't died in that gym, bonding them irreversibly as a group? What if Riz had shrunk inwards as a result of being bullied because he didn't have such a kick-ass, encouraging mom? What if Adaine didn't have a panic attack and got into Hudol? What if Fabian didn't grow out of some of the worse aspects of his behavior? What if Fig's horns never came in? What if Kristen's parents had a slightly tighter grip on her?

The rat grinders are not "lesser" inherently than the bad kids. Even some of the things heralded as bad signs, to be honest, are things that the bad kids do/did. I'm not saying they're as close, and I'm not saying they're on equally moral sides of the argument. I'm saying that they would have had inside jokes, and silly sleepovers, and clearly don't sit around treating their adventuring party like a business interaction (they made stupid codes for all their allies). I'm saying that there's many versions of these two groups that are much more similar. I'm saying that Ruben's House is their Mordred Manor, wizard tower and all.

I'm saying, above all else, maybe, fuck Porter. Because he was one of the adults in the situation here, and he led them to be sacrificed so he could be a god. The rat grinders didn't get Jawbone, or Sandra Lynn, or Sklonda, or Garthy, or Ayda, or even Aguefort himself, really. They put their trust in adults who showed them a way to catch up to their school rivals (who they, at this point, had not directly antagonized in anyway other than petty, one-sided rivalry), and they abused that.

[velvetvexations]

The thing about comparing Kipperlilly's grudge to hating DEI and affirmative action is that those things are exactly what she's advocating for. The Bad Kids are not receiving accommodation for anything - and in fact Aguefort seems like the type to despise things like accommodations and would tell disabled people to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, but I digress -rather, they have direct connections to massive save-the-world plots three years in a row now that puts them way ahead of everyone else. Though they put in hard work, that doesn't change the fact that no one else working as hard as they can will ever equal being told to go stop a god from coming back and coincidentally your dad (a) worked directly with that dead god's primary agent in the past and (b) is now a super cool angel secret agent who will directly assist you in the task. Oh, and also, your teammate's parents are the dead god's primary mortal agents. And also they kidnapped your other teammate's dad because he's a powerful demon lord so now she's involved too. And you all happen to end up on Leviathan, where Fabian is an instant celebrity who immediately gets a cult worshiping the planks he walks on because they all work for his rich undead infernal dad.

The issue is that people keep mapping it to the real world and seeing "tragic backstory" like it would be IRL, which is a mistake. It's not a disability. They don't go to normal school to become accountants or NASA engineers, they are there to be doing exactly that shit that their backstories rope them into. Like, this isn't Buffy, they aren't saving the world incidentally, this is school for saving the world to pursue a career in saving the world. Spyre functions so differently from IRL that everyone is dramatically failing to comprehend the actual situation everyone is in.

And the thing about hating affirmative action is that it presumes someone only got into whatever not because they have skill, but because of their race or something like that. That's manifestly different from what's going on here. Kipperlilly has no doubt the Bad Kids are incredibly powerful and skilled - but their backstories gave them opportunities to use that power and skill that no one else will ever have regardless of effort or even luck. The Bad Kids can't go five seconds without tripping over the revelation that the BBEG for the year is one of their second cousins. That just doesn't happen to other people, period. The world revolves around the BK's in ways it will never revolve around anyone else so the Bad Kids will always get the massive adventures to save the world and be the top of their class because they're personally connected to the narrative.

Remember, Brennan has confirmed that other AA students do not do shit like that. They do exactly the sort of missions you'd expect them to - go in dungeon, fight monsters, come back. It's not "uh, the Rat Grinders should have just gone out and saved the world too", that's not how it works. AA students are not usually expected to, their rat grinding is just a more tedious and efficient version of what they would be doing otherwise. The BK's don't get involved with these plots simply because they're the most heroic heroes ever who seek wrongs to right, they do it because every single time everyone but Gorgug (who is for the most part absent major narrative stakes) was born someone that would get those in's, feats reproducible by no one else.

"Ah, but the Seven-"

The Seven prove the tragedy of it. Because Kipperlilly is right, but she's also wrong. The brilliance of BLeeM this season is that he's crafted a narrative inseparable from the meta of how the game works. In a very real way this is like the Dungeons & Dragons versions of Tron. The fact that it's a series of fictional TTRPG sessions is essential to the universe and it's story, in a Twin Peaks-ian way.

Because, see, it's not actually, technically magical trauma that gives out those narrative advantages. Magical trauma is just the most obviously visible side-effect. What the issue actually is is that, as everyone has noted over and over again, the Rat Grinders are NPCs, and it is therefore impossible for the world to ever bend itself around them the way it does for the PCs. Except, most are just saying that as a funny haha joke.

No, like, literally, that's the issue. They will always be in the shadow of the handful of people that the people constructing their world, their timeline, their very existence, has decided matter. They are doomed by narrative causality to be "boring". And I'm going to take a moment to say here, isn't it crazy no one is talking about this when we just got done with Neverafter which was all about this exact thing????? Like, literally the BBEG was the Authors. That is the situation here, more or less.

Anyway, there will never be a demon attacking that due to a curse is only vulnerable to hot licks from Ruben's guitar passed down from the first gnomish rocker. Mary Ann will never be the prophesized liberator of kobolds enslaved in dragon dens. Ivy will never find out her father was secretly a super-soldier for the Council of Chosen who before he was assassinated left her notes detailing a sinister plot within the government of Solace.

People keep having a hard time with this because it intuitively doesn't feel right to ever classify something like losing a father in any context to have some kind of bright side. But if you take nothing else away from this post, let it be this: Adventuring as it's done in Spyre is not something done in the real world. Adventuring is something everyone chose to go to AA to learn and put into practice as their long-term career. And in that, absolutely these things give the PCs a completely one hundred percent insurmountable leg-up on the thing they're all in competition for.

And it being completely insurmountable in that way further goes to show the difference between hating that situation and hating affirmative action. Even AA is not a guarantee that a specific member of the majority will lose out on something and a specific member of the minority will get it instead. As soon as the character sheets were rolled everyone else at Aguefort may as well have just gone home and started studying to be accountants because the main characters had been chosen. Or they could keep going and hope they get a spin-off, I guess.

But Kipperlilly does keep trying, for she doesn't really comprehend the true eldritch horror beyond her existence shackled to the bits of a bunch of comedians, and her solution is to adjust for those unfair advantages.

Which is affirmative action.

How is that not obvious.

[dejaruhe]

Deeply fascinated by my own reactions to fhjy EP 19. I don't think any other season has made me so sad about the BBEGs and their crews, and I've caught up on most of the seasons now... I wonder if it's because they're mostly kids, if it's because BLeeM is deliberately doing a "humanize BBEGs" season (the way he plays Mary Ann 😭)... how much of it is being more involved with Tumblr fandom? I see Starbreaker art and I get all these headcanons about Jace and how he's being manipulated by someone he loves, and I see ratgrinders art and get headcanons about them, and the only BBEG that I honestly wanna see die is Porter. The rest of them have been killed and brought back wrong, I think, and if Porter can also control folks with stress tokens, they're all just being brutally puppeted. I get how the Bad Kids have lots of rage built up and I'm down with them doing whatever — Fabian reacting to Ivy's shit about fucking skinning Mazey the way he did seems quite in-character and honestly? Kind of justified? And Oisin certainly deserves the axe to the chest that he received, he's been planning to fuck with Seacaster Manor all year, he set SO MANY dragons on them (!), but I'm glad his head is still attached. I really want them all to be able to be brought back uncorrupted, or as followers of Real Ankarna at the very least. I feel like if they kill everybody and save Ankarna and Cassandra, then the gods can help heal the puppet bad guys and just leave Porter in hell... 🤞🏻

[rebelsafoot]

TELL ME ABOUT THE DESCENDANTS BAD KIDS AU PLEASEEEEEE I NEED NOTHING MORE IN MY LIFE

OK THIRD MOVIE TIME THE END IS NEAR!!!

So back in move one/two buddy was student president, but then kristen beat him and he/his evil preacher dad was Not happy about it, mainly bc kristen starts talking abt accepting everyone and talking about her new doubt got etc etc they just kind of hate her like they do in fh

so buddy pulls an audrey and goes full evil, starts believing in bakarath the very real rage god and is helped by porter/jace because yeah they can still be evil here, as a treat.

so fig and ayda are talking about like letting more kids come to the hero school, they bring over bucky and some other kids that i havent thought about, but bucky and kristen and just kind of eevie and dizzy. as they're bringing the kids off the island, ankarna who was awoken by buddy's whole Thing tries to escape, and that the version of hades trying to get out in this au.

so that makes fig and ayda decide to keep the barrier up for good, but then everything with buddy starts to happen, he's starting the whole rage curse thing instead of a sleeping curse, and so the bad kids go back to the island to get some magical item to stop it.

that's where they run into kipperlilly and the rat grinders. kipperlilly ends up with the item they need and they end up having to work together like in the movie. lucy is like eevie where she Really wants everyone to get along and tries to make everyone work together, but it is not going great. kipperlilly is beefing with kristen and riz and there is just Tension with everyone else. they do keep accidentally bonding while being forced to work together and kipperlilly hates it, but lucy loves it

it comes out that fig and ayda had decided to keep the barrier closed forever and everyone else is Obviously upset by this. that gives buddy the chance to curse them as well, and now everyone but fig is affected by the curse

fig ends up with her whole paladin thing with ankarna to stop the rage curse, buddy is like "Oops my bad guys," but he's really nice now and everyone forgives him. the rat grinders and the bad kids are friends by the end of it and everything works out in the end!

SO that's all of the au i've thought abt, i obv glossed over the smaller details but if anyone else is interested at All in this au please come up w ur own ideas!! and i am always happy to yap more abt it i havent even touched on fabian and riz yet

[moregraceful]

directors cut on possibly one of my favorite fics of all time, veteran leadership? -@macktism

oh this is how i know you're a real one, thank you so much

first of all, in the secret sharks rookie/prospect/fabbe reality that lives in my heart, the locker room is not merely swedish sharks mafia vs the canadian gigglers, it is also annoying blond bitches vs macklin, and "i'm just a teenager you can't get mad at me" vs fabian zetterlund. btw i just found out william eklund is 22 and now i need to go feel my feelings violently. anyway, my point is i love a sexy locker room that's not segmented by pairings and irl relationships so much as it is segmented by unlikely animal friendships and how many problems they can cause. so in my head, this is an au in which the rookies/prospects/wekky&zetts are kind of recreationally being chaotic and violent with each other and also everyone around them. tl;dr:

Which means Will or William put him up to it. Maybe Fabian, if Macklin pissed him off. Not Jack or Collin, they’re too polite.

It was Wekky baiting Macklin into admitting he didn't know how to deep throat. And then Wish and Fabian latching on to it like a hound on a bone. While Macklin may have practiced some grace and poise if it had just been ONE of them, he was not prepared to be normal and patient about getting harrassed the swedish sharks ice mafia AND his best friend in the whole entire world.

Macklin has a can-do attitude though!! And he knows who has all the answers: Professor Nico.

Bullying teenagers should be permissible under the CBA, but unfortunately the team relies on Nico to set a good example around the rookies. “Of course I know how to deepthroat. Don’t be ridiculous.”

This is a deep cut for the old caltrain heads, but when I used to write Chris Driedger and Philipp Grubauer, I would write speaking like they had a transatlantic accent wrt cadence and vocabulary. And around this sentence, I realized I was starting to do that with Nico, and I went...is this a German thing or a horny thing or do i only have about two stock characterizations in my back pocket... I feel my end solution to this was just making him an asexual sex god. Which is one way to approach this problem without actually solving it I suppose

“Toff wouldn’t know and Delly wouldn’t do it,” says Nico. He sighs. “Fine. But you’re not practicing on me.” “Why not—but you’re like, super hot—and you’re always nice to me—”

TY DELLANDREA MENTIONED!!!! anyway I didn't actually set out to write a Nico Sturm Is Asexual fic, at this point in the writing I just thought it would be way hotter to write Nico directing the action on someone else, and chose Luke Kunin for reasons.

Also Macklin's second line was really really cute to me!!! Like yeah ofc he's gonna ask Dr. Nico Sturm PhD MEd MSW, Nico knows everything and knows how to do everything well. But CRITICALLY!!! MACKLIN ALSO TRUSTS NICO TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND NOT MAKE FUN OF HIM AND BE KIND TO HIM AS HE'S LEARNING NEW THINGS!!!! And that's cute to meeeeeee

btw GMMG I am outside your house with grenade

“Oh!” says Luke. He looks at Macklin, the anxiety all over his face. He smiles. “Hey, that’s cool. Good skill to have.” One of the many great qualities about Luke is that off ice, he’s easygoing and quick to make sure the locker room remains even-keeled. Nico’s sure he sees that Macklin would never let the issue go otherwise and Nico would be haunted for the rest of year by an 18 year old determined to have sex with him because his friends told him to. Luke smiles wider when he meets Nico’s eyes. “Yeah, of course. When’s our next off day?”

the reasons I chose Luke are 1. I think he's hot; 2. I know he's packing, 3. he just really gives Guy We Can Rely On To Keep The Ship Steady. And while Macklin doesn't trust him in the same way that he trusts Nico (with deepthroating)(he'd trust Luke with problems like "I Accidentally Dropped Will's Car Keys Down A Storm Drain"), NICO trusts Luke to get what he's putting down, and knows that Luke is kind and sweet like him when the situation calls for it.

“Looking forward to it,” says Luke, saluting, and skates back down the ice to continue harassing Barclay.

As Per My Last Fanfiction

Macklin—Macklin has not calmed down all day. Nico had to pick the kid up, truly had to drag him out of Jumbo’s house, because he was nervous. He’d spent the entire car ride restless in his seats until Nico told him he could either sit still or he could touch himself and see how fast he could get off. “But I’m sure Luke would love to see it more,” he added.

TYPO SPOTTED!!!!!!!

Writing this made me laugh bc at first I imagined Nico parking outside Jumbo's house and waiting for Macklin to come slinking out. But then I started teasing that thought apart and realized it was gonna be way funnier if Macklin was literally stress-pacing in his little ensuite above Jumbo's garage or whatever, and Nico had to go into Jumbo's backyard and go haul Macklin out of the house, and walk past Jumbo with Macklin in tow, going "we're going to do some mental fitness training :)" to Jumbo, who knows exactly what that means.

And ig it can be read as Macklin is nervous about sex but to me it was honestly Macklin is nervous about failing Deepthroating Lessons with Luke specifically bc what if he sucks and Luke thinks poorly of him :( Luke's dick is so big, what if that is the last time he sees it :( He's not afraid of Nico judging him at all, because Nico's whole role is educator but Luke is so hot and hairy and what if Macklin accidentally bites his dick off and then Luke never talks to him again :(

“Hey,” says Nico, gently. “Enjoy it. That’s the best part.” Macklin looks up at him with wide eyes. Nico kisses his forehead and pushes him back into Luke’s arms.

Nico enjoys watching and Luke loves putting on a show. Macklin is floundering, 18 years old and too overwhelmed to know what to do. Luke kisses him messy and deep, palming his ass and putting a hand up the back of his shirt. When he lets go so they can take a breath, Macklin is gasping.

this might be american protestantism, or growing up in christian purity culture, or just like being an adult in my 30s, but I do think there is a sort of transition period while we as people grow into our sexuality, and grow into what we like/want/need, and grow into what sex acts we like/don't like/tolerate -- and what our boundaries around those are. For Macklin, this right here is just kissing but also he's a lil guy!! Surrounded by grown ass men!! He's still learning what he likes/wants/needs and he certainly doesn't know his body or himself in the same ways Luke and Nico do, particularly as it pertains to sex! And like, yuall if I was 18 and Luke Kunin was kissing me senseless,,,, there is something so intensely disarming being with people who know their body and know what they like and know what they want with you..straight up you do not get that experience with other teenagers and Macklin's out here like oh my god I am but one medium-tall Sharks prospect and a hot man is kissing me and I don't know what to doooo

And Nico being like hey. it's ok. I'll tell you what to do. You'll be fine, I'm here, I'll make sure you don't feel like you're alone, I am using positive reinforcement (kisses) so you know you're doing a good job.

Luke having the time of his life obvi, he gets to put on a show and he gets to Nico telling a guy EXACTLY what Luke likes, honestly a dream situation for Luke. doesn't even matter if Macklin is unsure or awkward, he's literally living the dream of having a guy tell another guy how to get him specifically off.

I will not delve too deeply into the sex acts bc most of that boils down to: I thought it would be funny and/or hot. But this one:

When Luke has Macklin pressed against a wall, riding one of Macklin’s legs with his face in Macklin’s neck – Nico is very proud of both of them – Nico baps Luke in the back of the head, hard.

Pondering how they are frequently listed at the same height and in the same weight class and like u know I love height difference but there's something so intensely satisfying about writing two men who just fit bc they're are so similar in build. Like I didn't have to think as much about chest to waist ratios or anything, they just fit :)

"Baps" is because it made me laugh. also I couldn't really think of a better word other than "hits" but "hits" was too violent for the scene and not really the tone I wanted to set going into the blowjob part.

Nico takes off his shirt, mostly because he likes torturing both of them and he knows what he looks like. He sits down on the floor behind Macklin, his legs bracketing Macklin on his knees.

"Why does Nico take off his shirt when the entire scene is Macklin on Luke's dick" well here's the thing Nico knows what he's got and he knows how to use it and while there is no universe in which Luke is in anyway turned off by Macklin learning to suck his dick, it certainly HELPS to watch Macklin simultaneously get prompted how to do things AND felt up by Shirtless Smirking Nico.

Luke takes his time, which Nico approves of, because any time Macklin has to work hard for something, he gets less annoying during games.

I don't remember who wrote the article that was like Does Everyone Hate Macklin and then the only person they interviewed was Nico...but this was that vibe. Unfortunately, by transitive properties, not only did Macklin learn to deepthroat, Nico and Luke learned they can make him less annoying by having sex with him.

Macklin falls back against Nico, chest heaving. “Oh my god,” he rasps. “Holy shit. That was awesome.” He wipes his face with his palms and looks at Nico with big, bright eyes.

I've been working unlearning the concept that sex has to be narratively important or emotionally meaningful -- I think the initial dialog was more weighty and then I was like that's stupid, these are hockey players, and went with "That was awesome :D!!!!!"

cause like let's be honest!!! learning what you like in sex is awesome!! And I'm working on trying to acknowledge that and celebrate that! Let us reduce shame in not knowing and inhabit joy in learning! Um to deepthroat. yeagh

Nico pulls down Macklin’s sweats. Luke turns Macklin’s head away to look at Nico; Nico smiles at both of them. “Watch this guy,” Luke says. “You’ll learn something.”

ymmv but in the inside of my head Macklin is attempting to kiss Luke and it's SO sloppy and uncoordinated and Luke is doing such a good job at not laughing at him. But it's kind of welcome that Nico gets the REAL show on the road, bc Luke doesn't want to laugh at the kid but his face is SO soft and damp and he is SO fucked out. it's funny to Luke.

“You don’t have to look so proud of yourself,” says Luke, looking amused. “That took like, five seconds.” “No,” says Macklin. He tosses his head back against the couch and sighs. “He should. I wanna do that again.”

SEX CAN BE FUNNY AND AWESOME AT THE SAME TIME!!!!

local teenager experiences blowjob by a slightly older man with years of practice and, once he recovers in about 5-7 days, he will make it his life's mission to be as good as Nico. <33

Nico kisses Macklin’s kneecap and then bites it. Macklin looks down at him. “Should I get you or—” “Not necessary,” says Nico. “Wait, really?” says Macklin.

it was at this point I realized Nico was actually asexual...in part bc I did not have the word space or patience to write more sex. But also in part bc that was how the story was developing without me knowing. And idk lately (end of last year/this year??) I've been working on untangling the vast and myriad ways we approach sex with other people and the even vaster and myraid ways we feel and experience sex, particularly within the major league sports aus that exist in my head.

And one of the things I've been working on is the concept of, I don't want to experience sex with my body but I enjoy experiencing sex with your body, and I enjoying quote unquote giving more than quote unquote receiving. Neither top nor bottom nor vers but a secret fourth thing. And like this is a to1u fic so obviously we r never going to get deep into Nico's feelings. but also ngl I am not really interested in interrogating those feelings when the end result is Nico having a kind of ethos that is: I like sex with you but not with me. And he doesn't interrogate that thought any further [relieved emoji]

He gets up and goes to the kitchen to pour some glasses of water, gives them a moment to enjoy each other alone. Maybe it’s good that Macklin has no shame and no sense, he thinks, hearing Luke’s rumbly laughter from the living room and Macklin giggling. How else is the kid going to keep up in the major leagues if he doesn’t ask for help? He sips his water, then heads back to the living room to join them.

love to, think about them having a silly little time on the couch, having sloppy make outs, Macklin feeling really pleased and proud of himself and Luke feeling very gently fond of this kid and that making HIM laugh too, esp bc he knows Macklin is going to be up for round two in about ten minutes, and both of them resting happily in that space together without Nico directing things or making them feel a certain (VERY HORNY) way, even tho Nico was calling the shots the entire time and is the reason Macklin's mouth is all red.

It is at this moment Nico enters the room and says casually, Macklin, would you like to learn how it feels to be double-penetrated? I could call Barclay?

Anyway I hope this was interesting and not boring, I know this is like one million words long!!! Thank you for asking!!!

[joysmercer]

okay I’m so curious about the short fic you posted yesterday

can I ask how in this universe nina dies? And does eddie too?

(it’s mask of anubis on main btw)

ooh fun questions!! i was hoping someone would ask cuz i couldn't figure out how to work it in. also i added way too much info that you didnt ask for so now it's under the cut :D

first of all, this au is a much darker take on how i think nina's life "actually" played out – I think she'll always have random spirits coming up to her etc, but in this au, it's pretty constant and can get very dangerous very quickly. on the flip side, she sees a lot more fame for her "irl" work than she does "in canon" (see below).

somewhat ironically (given how guarded nina becomes from the constant barrage of gods forcing her to do things), she makes her living off of writing movies about her experiences. i think she does this in canon too, but here she really throws herself into it, almost like a form of therapy since there isn't really any professional she can process things with, you know? she eats, sleeps, breathes her craft – whenever she has downtime, she's writing, editing, networking to get her words out there. she's so fast and so talented with it that she graduates university in three years with honors, by which time the chosen one (season 1) has already been picked up by a major company and has started filming; she wins her first oscar two years later, and the next two each year after that.

(actually, all four scripts got picked up at the same time, which is why the turnaround was so quick – but they didn't announce the sequels until after the oscars because at that point she was a relatively unknown person)

(also i know this isn't how these things work irl but just work with me here. maybe she called in a favor from a random god and had things sped along idk)

anyway, the point im trying to make is that she spends her whole life balancing what she wants to do (her work) with what she has to do (paragon shit) and has a weird sense of self-worth as a result (she knows she's good at what she does, but wants to hide it from the world at the same time (out of fear). she hates that she needs others to keep her safe and refuses to believe they're doing it out of kindness, even though she also knows that they genuinely love her. it's weird) (also she and fabian make up sometime during their uni years so all is good there)

anyway, they (amber + KT) set up a rota of all ex-sibuna members (+ willow as she learns about it pretty quickly post-grad) to spend time in the states for a couple months out of the year each. this essentially made sure there was always 1 other person on the mission with her and 2 people nearby who knew where they were going, should things go wrong and they need rescuing or something. but for small/random tasks, nina would just do those alone.

her last mission (that fabian alludes to) had taken months to complete: three formerly-benign ghosts had been "turned" by a magician up in canada, released from the underworld, and, driven mad by the magic (and confusion of being back in the real world), had started a series of freak thunderstorms across the american midwest. together with jerome, she had to figure out how they got released, stop the magician, construct the device necessary to trap the spirits and send them back, and use said device to stop the storms. the effort had completely exhausted her (so much so that she – making headlines – decided to take a step back on touchstone production, instead of hanging out on set like she did for the other three)

(that's why tor is the way it is. with her dropping off of the face of the earth, someone decided – while she couldn't argue against it – to absolutely slash the budget, which lead to a mess of a story (screenplay is the only oscar it wins)

nina's death (as alluded to in the article) really seemed out-of-the-blue. basically, she was on a mission – alone – that suddenly and very unexpectedly turned dangerous. but when she was found (by KT and amber together) it looked like she just collapsed at home – there was no indication of any foul play or anything, really, of how she died.

also alluded to in the article, but a lot (but not all) of KT's "investigative journaling" was her covering up the consequences of nina's missions with theories that would make sense to the general public. nina's last request of her was to halt any investigation into her death prematurely as she knew things would unravel pretty quickly otherwise

joy's role in nina's life was mainly to book her for enough public-facing events/etc so that people wouldn't question where she was when she "disappeared" for a month or two, as well as act as her social media manager/"source close to her" to tabloids during extended absences so people continue to think she's okay. this was especially important given nina's monumental rise to fame (and as a screenplay writer, at that! usually it's the actors/directors who get most of it!) and her relatively young age, which meant she got herself a fandom very quickly…and we all know what the rumor-spreading capabilities of stan twitter are like. there were quite a few times nina came back from a mission to find several "new" pics on her instagram or that shes going viral for something she doesn't "remember" saying lskdjf

amber's role was to media-train the hell out of nina so she never gives any indication that a) there's an element of truth in her work; b) she lives a double life; and c) weird things keep happening in the cities she happens to frequent (eg random buildings falling, artifacts disappearing, etc). we all know this girl can't lie to save her life…amber is nothing but a miracle-worker in that regard lol

as for eddie – his death is basically the reason things are so awful, now. he actually dies at the end of tor, and not only does osiris himself blame nina for it (using "logic" that can rival senkhara's in s2), but it also leaves nina terrified since she no longer has a protector – something all the other gods/spirits quickly take advantage of (threats/blackmail/etc) for the first few years, by which time word of her willingness to do anything spreads and she can't get rid of the constant requests. it doesn't help that his death also proved to them that nina (like her counterpart) can, and will, sacrifice herself to save the world, if it came down to it, making her the perfect pawn in a lot of schemes.